Couples counselling

Couples counselling for Haywards Heath, Cuckfield, Burgess Hill, Crawley, Horsham, Lewes, Brighton, East Grinstead, Hove and Sussex areas.

How I work

I can work with you as a couple in person or remotely (sometimes individually as well) to understand what factors have impacted on the couple relationship. I take the time to identify your feelings, look at communication patterns and how arguments or differences can escalate. Where possible, I work with you to learn to relate to each other in a different way and support you to resolve differences in a constructive way.

I am very involved in sessions. I will ask questions, I will be interested in your background, your understanding of the impact of the problem on your relationship and the relational patterns and communication style(s). I am interested in the here-and-now process and I work to support you to be more aware of relational patterns that may be influencing the couple dynamic. I encourage you both to be more open with each other in the room, so you can explore the issues that are usually difficult to talk about, but are important to you.

My aim is to create a safe space and work collaboratively. I sometimes will need to interrupt you when appropriate to de-escalate arguments, so the sessions feel safe. We will think of ways together how best to move forwards with the couple’s goals for counselling.

Why do couples come to me for relationship counselling?

Couples counselling can help you to more clearly see the difficulties in your relationship and to gain a new understanding and perspective of each other. Couples counselling can also give you the skills to improve communication, resolve differences and improve intimacy.

Our romantic relationships are incredibly meaningful to us. It is where we find support, friendship and love. When there are issues within the couple relationship that are difficult to resolve, it can feel distressing, sad and lonely. Some couples may need help from an experienced couple’s counsellor to help you gain insight, by exploring your feelings, get underneath the problem, or look at the worry from different perspectives.

The most common reason that couples come to me for counselling is around communication. Communicating may become difficult or challenging due to a number of contributing factors, such as: 

  • Affairs and infidelity
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Different parental styles
  • Wider family conflict
  • Bereavement and loss
  • Lack of trust
  • Loss of desire and intimacy
  • Life transitions
  • Impact of illness, disability or health
  • Differences that cannot be reconciled easily

When couples struggle to communicate effectively, they can feel misunderstood, hurt and angry. This can lead to questions on the stability or longevity of the relationship. Whatever the difficultly, it can be upsetting and stressful when our relationships feel uncertain or are lacking what we need to feel healthy and happy.

My approach with couples

I use a variety of therapeutic theories during the counselling process as a couples therapist, such as Gestalt, Psychodynamic and Systemics, as well as attachment theories. My work is both relational and dialogical. This means that I work to help you understand each other’s positions through exploration and enquiry, which helps you gain insight and make meaning of your difficultly, so you can make choices about moving forwards.

I do not offer mediation or get involved with court proceedings and I do not work with couples where domestic abuse is present and where an affair is ongoing. Relate provides information and resources on domestic abuse.

I also see couples for relationship counselling when they are questioning separation and would like some guidance during this process to help decide whether to separate or have a trial separation, this may be short term work.

My private clients who see me in my home therapy clinic as a couples counsellor live in the East Sussex and West Sussex areas, such as Cuckfied, Haywards Heath, Burgess Hill, Crawley, Horsham, Lewes and Brighton. I also provide couples counselling remotely in the UK regardless of your geographical location.

Fees

Sessions are 60 minutes at £80 and can be offered in person, remotely or as a blended approach.

Session fee for individual sessions as part of couple work £60 (60 minutes)